knitting and the life I almost have around it

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Brimming Over

Hello all.
While procrastinating an essay today, i was idly flicking through some knit and crochet patterns, looking for something to make for/during hot weather.
I was vaguely looking at this stripey halter top when i glanced at the girl next to her... What is going on!?
For those of you who find this too blurry (my apologies) the slightly chump-ier girl appears to be wearing a mystery hat and a bright red cigarette lighter... on a lanyon... around her neck.

Yes, i am as confused as you are. From this i am assuming the photo was taken in the 80's... it's such a typical teen-movie image as well! the pretty and skinny so-together-you-want-to-kill-her girl effortlessly stylish, and her dorky side-kick quite brilliantly failing to bring off the look in any way. Of course, Francesca (the hot one) keeps Dolores around because by comparison she looks even hotter.

Yes, that is her hair showing through the gaps in her hat. Yes, the brim of the hat which is too far down her head is completely clear, thereby removing the entire purpose of having a brim. No, i will never recover from this. (the hat, THE HAT???)

On a lighter note, who thinks i should knit the stripey one? Cute or what?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Darn Those Molecules!

My friends, i feel that today it is my duty to show you the light.
I myself was in the dark until this afternoon when the mailman arrived (isn't mail just THE best ever?). A slim missive addressed to Ms Spider may just have saved my life.
You will be relieved to note that L'Oreal Paris is now producing an excellent skin product range called 'HappyDerm'.
It is "Designed for young women,... 100% feel-good range of skincare products". How wonderful of L'Oreal to target the demographic most prone to depression!
You will also be pleased to note that the L'Oreal Labs have developed "Phyto-Dorphins (TM)... molecules of happiness for the skin". They also stimulate the "skin's well-being".
So this has been my error all these years. Someone remind me to throw out my Suicidal Skincare (TM).
I have also today spotted my Dogosaurus Rex. Remind me if I ever do another one to embroider on the spots prior to sewing up the front... I did it the other way around and it was rather awkward... but rewarding! so many spots! Spines and leg ribbing can't be far off... but you have no idea how many ends need weaving in at the back :p

I'm off to enhance my skin's happiness, or possibly laugh myself silly.

PS. Did i mention that HappyDerm rhymes with Pachyderm? Good associations for a skin product or what? "Your skin will be thick and wrinkly, but man will it be happy!"
I would only have found this more amusing if they had said "it's like therapy... but for your skin!"

Monday, August 29, 2005

how does your knitting grow?

You may have been wondering about the Caressa Jacket? Well here she is in all her glory!
Have had a few dramas with her: Is anyone 26cm from underarm to hip? I know I'm about 38cm... so the body pieces had to be lengthened. I also couldn't purchase enough yarn from the same dye-lot, so the arm-pieces are worked in one ball of each (she's worked double for extra-cosiness and chunky ribbing) and I can't see any obvious shade difference. Anyway, if both arms are the same shade it shouldn't be noticeable, and I won't have any ball-change stripes. The colour is pretty accurate in the full photo... but the close up of the ribs looks too grey. It is approximately this colour.

Also have Dogosaurus. Am struggling a bit, but that's synthetics for you. My alternate day knitting is working a treat, I suspect I wouldn't have started it yet otherwise... and a sweater is taking me longer than two weeks so i'm less stressed. I can always knit the back-spines if I get bored with long rows... won't be long methinks.
Let me know what we think :)

Am taking the Happiest Monday Ever off. I feel it is my duty as a triple J listener... and i'm lazy of course...

Sunday, August 28, 2005

That girl's got balls!

Well, weekend off my friends! yes indeed!
Happy Spider returned to her natural habitat for two days of glorious sunshine and remeniscence. Luckily as she took her new baby, everyone can share in a 'This is Australia' moment.
This is 'the hut' (yes, we go in for creative naming here in spider town) but perhaps it should be renamed the love-shack (suggestive leer). I have also for your viewing pleasure a shot of the gorgeous mist this morning. This view is a little walk down the hill from the hut. You can't see it but about 200m directly ahead of us (in this photo) is a good swimming dam, which is full of water! It hasnt been this un-drought-like since i was, oh, eight years old. I took this photo at about 9am. I woke up with the sun, much to the disgust of the BFG... well not all of us carry eye-masks with us!!
You will also be pleased to note that i have picked up a wool-winder thing (is that the correct terminology?), and spent our post-walk recovery time turning my skeins into self-pulling balls. Yes, i know this sounds very industrious, but i had an alterior motive... balls take up less space in my stash basket, and im not allowed to buy more if it's full! (very sneaky)
How much have they reduced! amazing... I know it's an illusion, but they even feel lighter...
Still winding balls by hand, but can't complain.. it's a lot less of a pain when you dont have the skein draped across your knees and the moving gives you a sore back...
See you when i'm looking at you!

PS. Got my posting for teaching prac! I am at a college (this is good) but they've but me in SOSE (this is bad). How ridiculous can you get? I'm an english teacher! Sure i do psychology but i'd rather swallow a pine-cone than have to teach it next week! boo hoo hoo.. and what if they want me to teach geography??? i hate uni :(

Friday, August 26, 2005


Ok one more. Just to remind you all that its getting gorgeous out side and to show you my baby daffodil.... repeat after me.. 'aawwwwwwwww!!'

The trumpet part is only 2cm long.. how cute is that???

Sorry for those of you heading in to Autumn.. but you've had your fun!


Cambio to be

This is my hand-dyed black (but really purple because the cotton was pink and i was lazy) yarn for knitting my Cambio.
You may notice that she appears to have some blemishes.. but not so! these are the beads that will go in the pleats, royal blue and clear glass with silver cores.
pretty and all but i may never have time to knit again... booh hooooo on prac week after next
Ok, i think that is all... maybe one more....


This is it... doesnt your mouth just water? what to do i dont know... but i like to rub it on my cheek and dream of our future together...
Oh crystal palace kid merino, you break my heart!

Oompa-loompa yarn...

i must explain that we have two computers, and yesterday i was relegated to the cruddy one because he that is stinky left an essay to the last minute. I mean, whose fault does he think it is if he doesnt have the stories with him..? (Don't look into the eyes, only bad things happen to people who do that)

To cut a long story short, the other computer is quite slow.. and freaks out if you try to do anything online. Hence the brevity of my last posting. so i will continue today, and attempt to finish what i started yesterday.
This is the oompa-loompa sweater in skeins and a lovely hand-made centre-pulling ball (my that sounds rude. No i dont have a machine to do it for me, i'll just give myself RSI thankyou very much.
No Becky, i'm sorry, no tension square yet... no time! (but isnt it pretty???)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

baby steps

Ok. this is my second attempt.
New camera.
Yarn porn.
this is yarn bought at craft fair a few weeks ago, 70 m per ball. 100% wool.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

charanga pachanga

Can i just say, crisis over?
ok, so maybe not over. But my speech is written, we have two cool videos to distract the class from our lameness and tomorrow afternoon i'm off to buy a camera! (tra-la-la-la)
You poor, poor things. You will be subjected to more yarn porn than you know what to do with! You will see bus knitting, tv knitting, procrastiknitting*... the whole shebang!
You will be subjected to shot upon shot of my dog looking adorable (and cranky and sleepy and shy and in trouble....).
You will see blurry photos of patterns i like but can't find online. (not to mention the ones that make me nausaeus, hooray for the 80's!)
In short, you will be taken over!! (in cavernous devil-like voice).
I'm just hoping i find what i want.... ooooh so excited! Want this, but they change so quickly maybe i cant find?
*did i invent that word? because i havent seen in anywhere before. well let's just say i unvented it.
Ok, ciao bella, wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Title? I'll give you title...

Well, you'll be pleased (yes yes you will) to know that the exam was fine. Not great, but its over and let us never speak of it again (unless my grade is awesome and i come on to crow).
Am immersed in group presentation about hypnosis. You'd think it'd be interesting, but it ain't my friends. Just stick 'reference list required' on any question and you'll be yawning before you know it.
in fact, i suspect it will be.... ------->

But i dont want to frighten my group so keep it quite (hi guys!).
Caressa jacket is powering along (i would stick in under 'on the needles' but i cant find a pic online), and dogosaurus is.... wagging. Not speedy, but getting there.

What's with the marketing types commenting on blogs?

Also, can anyone tell me what they would do if they had one (1) ball of Crystal Palace Kid Merino? i'm stumped. perhaps a lacy scarfy/shawl type thing... oh i dont know :(

Found a magazine thats good (if British and sort of out of season here) Knitting. (creative naming or what?)


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Studious? Moi!

Can i just say, whoever started Eugenics (Francis Galton, actually, the great git) needs a great big smack over the back of his head with a carp (or some other wet, smelly bottom-feeder). I mean, who wakes up and thinks "Here's a jolly thought, lets sterilize all feeble-minded people so the world becomes a smarter place!"
What a maggot, honestly! And this guy reckoned he could tell if you were feeble-minded just from looking at you (a photo even!). I do not photograph well, let me tell you, and i would be mighty-unimpressed if someone tied my tubes just because they saw me looking like this:

Anyway, if you met my mum, you'd be a lot more sympathetic to my feeble-mindedness (yes, that really was a technical term in Psych at the turn of the last century.)

I am trying to be clever with the help of TOD (ie. TOD tells me what to do and i do alot of copy & paste from emails) and add things down the sidebar. Yes it is slap-dash, but i used to think html was shorthand for Hotmail, so give me a break.

Well, it's true that i have an exam tomorrow, but fear not gentle reader: One cannot fail multiple-guess!

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

Friday, August 19, 2005


Have you ever tried to imagine life without any hypothetical situations...?

All joking aside, I wonder what my life would be like if I didnt insist on making everything so complicated. I'm one of these people who rely quite heavily on their instincts, and this is all very well, but when one is a leeetle short on sleep one tends to take that achy feeling of morbid foreboding as a sign that a) the world is about to end, b) BFG is going to break my little heart, c) I'm going to fail uni or d) a mixture of a, b and c.
as you may have noticed, the only person who might cop a few hysterics is none other than my darling boyfriend.
i would like to just state right now that he is a wonderful, loving, funny, clever, down to earth and down-right gorgeous bloke and he is an angel to put up with my insanity. (how can i criticise a man who says my knitting is 'really cool' despite not getting it at all???)

Wish me luck, exam monday, presentation thursday and essay friday week. i believe it's pronounced 'Yurk!' (or perhaps 'procrastination')


PS back and half a sleeve of Caressa jacket (sorry no pic and is not on any websites. Is a GetCreative one {Take my advice and buy nothing from these people, they do not understand the concept of editing} and as such requires ALOT of modifications. i'm actually convinced it will turn be poo when i finish it.. but it's a nice knit.) and nearly at the leg openings of Dogasaurus (Man! that yarn is sooo green!!)

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Prehistoric Knitwear

Don't ask me how it happened, but i currently have on the needles a sweater. A sweater for a dog. A sweater for a dog who thinks he's a dinosaur. That's right folks, it's the Dogosaurus Rex coat from Patons.
Again, no idea how this happened.
Except, i may have been swayed by tales of a certain dog of TODs waking up in the morning surrounded by a ring of frost...
oh well, you can never have too much green, can you?

100 pages of Crime and Punishment to go! Hoorah! And you will all be pleased to note that Fear and Trembling is no longer on my reading list for this semester. Of course, it would have been more usefull to know this BEFORE i had bought the book, but i'm sure i'll get around to it. someday.

Fear me, you may one day become me...

Mission Enjoyable

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to raid your parents' wardrobes on the hunt for any signs of Yarn Abuse. It is happening in your own homes! Hundreds of metres of beautiful yarns, that could have had fantastic lives given better opportunities, are trapped in ugly, ugly sweaters all over the country!
For example, this tortured creature was found trying to clime out of my fathers cupboard. He has never worn it to my knowledge, and after extensive negotiations with the enemy, the sweater was released into my care (ok ok i promised to knit him socks, but i think the way i said it sounded tougher).
About 550 metres of bulky slubby yarn. I'm pretty sure it's hand spun and dyed but it looks very similar to Rowan Biggy Print. The colours is predominately navy, but also lavender, turquoise grey, green, cherry red and maroon (again, apologies for the blurriness). Sounds over the top, i know, but it was worse on my daddy (looked like an oompa-loompa in winter-wear... terrible). It really looks gorgeous in skeins, and i'm open to any suggestions of what it should be.
A bientot, mes amies!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

what a Fair day!

Who could forget that Craft and Quilt Fair was on this weekend? Hooray!
The opportunity to purchase yarns and beads from places other than Lincraft, and in varieties that in no way resemble the F Word ( am i the only person who thinks colour 9 looks like baby-vomit?)
In the end, i had in my bag -
  • A pair of bamboo circular needles in ( size 7mm )
  • 3 balls of slubby hand-dyed 100% wool (about 70 metres each ball) in a pinky, purple, green dye pattern.
  • 1 ball of Crystal Palace Kid Merino in Plum, which must be out of manufacture because it's not shwon here. ($15 a ball, but lusted after it for so long i could not resist. no idea what to do with it though)
  • a bulk bag of beads for use in Cambio. The beads are dark blue with a silver core, so i might make the cardigan in black instead of pink.
  • also an assortment of malachite, amethyst, shell, enamel and glass beads which may one day wake up as earrings
  • the current issue of Creative Knitting magazine, which i may subscribe to.

If you can figure out how much i spent, please don't tell the BFG.

Here are a few pics so you don't get bored. Strapless top i made last week. New Look 6468 (can't find on-line, sorry)

the fabric is some my granma gave me when i was little. so cute! a little sheer, but i can live with that if BFG can.

Where's the spring already?

Til we Knit again.....

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Stop-Gap Cap

Here it is, or as my brother (he that is stinky) calls it 'the head condom'. he's ruined it for me!!!!

Is essentially the Most Basic Hat from Hip to Knit again (p20-23) except changing the yarn every two rows.

Have also made one in purples. Sorry if the pics are too blurry, but i was feeling a bit fuzzy around the edges that day (har har). The hat's fuzzy anyway....

By the way, those weird bumps in the birds-eye view are my pigtails.
There is still a back-load of projects, but i am going sleepy-times now. Hope you enjoyed your visit to spider-town!

Bite them bed-bugs!

Teal Sweater

And here, my dears, is the infamous teal sweater. As you can see it is a decent length, but this was only after i blocked it into submission. It was a crop-top worthy of a knitting cheerleader!
It is Jenna Wilsons' "Big Sack Sweater" from Stitch n Bitch (Debbie Stoller, 2003, Workman, USA, p203-204)
Yes, it is a little chubby-wise, but it's so warm and snuggly (the sleeves are a GREAT length) that i don't care.

Also, it's a much prettier colour in real life, i think that Arabella's red-ness must have frightened the colour molecules and made them stop expressing (this is how i understand it to work)

Rasberry Sorbet anyone?

Ok as promised, here is my highly experimental sweater from recycled wool. I followed the 'dreamy turtleneck' pattern from Hip to Knit (Judith L. Schwartz, 2002, Interweave Press, Canada, Page 80-83) but when i got to the collar i picked up 102 stitches and did 2x2 rib, occasionally increasing (sorry, was very experimental) and set in some eyelets in every purl bit. finished as 2x3 rib (the 3 stitches being purl on the right side). I also went from a 3.75mm needle to a 4.5mm and then finished on a 5.5mm casting off with a 7mm. Also hand stitched the collar down to stop it looking like a ruff- the yarn is quite exhuberant.
sorry if this makes no sense, let me know what we think?

By the way, i'm not an arm-less red-neck, this is my dress-form Arabella. Isnt she awesome?

Perve shot, anyone? -->

(please let me know what you think of the ribbon, it has had mixed reception amongst my friends.)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Stick a fork in me, I'm done

Have you ever noticed how many truly depressing names the explorers came up with? Dismal Swamp, Mount Agony and who could forget The Pimple?
If women had done more exploring i suppose we would have had a few Mt Sort-of Somewhat Pretty, but there's a good chance that every now and then would spring up Pass the Chocolate Creek and the Mavis is a Flaming Cow and Who Wants her Scone Recipe Anyway Mountain Range.
Perhaps i should add that i have PMS (Pass Me Sugar). It is wonderful. Oh the joy. i have found, however, a rather lovely quote for you dedicated types (yes, i was reading the dodgy old books at my work again). The wonderful G. Bourne states in Pregnancy (Pan, 1972, p3):
"It is well known that the majority of impetuous
actions and crimes committed by women are during
the week immediately before menstruation"
Oh Mr Bourne! Thankyou for this clarification! Wow-ee, you sound so knowledgeable i bet you had a uterus grafted to your appendix just to get a feel for it all.
I really hate stuff like this. i don't know about you, but this sounds like we're all a bunch of infantile morons who think vaguely 'gosh i ought to buy some mandarins, knit a tea-cosy and maybe i'll just shoot someone as well'. The only toady men who annoy me more are the ones who get all high and mighty about abortions. like they'd know!
OOh, and dont get me started on GST on tampons! Luxury item my foot! i'd like to stick a couple of luxury items up John Howards nostrils!
Obviously i need a good swig of this...
Or have i just finished a few? Your call...
Here's to shouting inanely.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

smoke me a kipper

indeed, today was my day off!
did very little - except for the frenzied room-cleaning which occurs only when i should be researching for essays. again without a project (fret fret fret)
started and finished the Stop-Gap Cap (in four shades of pink) in one day! was quite exited when i finished it, wore it all day today. i usually look ten shades of ridiculous in any hat, and this one is sort of Alex Mack cutesy. Only problem is it is made from mystery yarn from my stash.. and apparently one of them contained mohair. So had to keep taking it off as my head got hot!
Am very exited as i got a response from the amazing Becky of Fluffa! whose site i commented on. She is my knitting idol and i got all exited and jittery to hear from her! it was like getting an email from a film star! total buzz! i suppose it's easy to forget that these are real people - especially becky, who seems to knit a new sweater every three days - wonderwoman!
anyway, will have pics soon. BFG was very kind and let me play with his camera today. unfortunately i haven't got the software, but once he sends me the pics they'll be up!
Also, my Mcall's pattern arrived today! Hoorah! Can't sew it until i buy some piping and ribbon and buttons but i'm still tickled pink! isnt mail the most fun in the whole wide world?
Speaking of mail, where do these knitting buddy secret pals come from? i want one!
I have yet to finish Crime and Punishment... but i suppose that's what happens when you leave all your reading til the bus ride to Uni...

Auf weidersan

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Over it

What a day!
So do not want to be at Uni right now.

Want to be here ---------------->

Or here -------------------->

Or here ----------------------------->

Thank the Great Cosmic Crochet Hook for the girls at threadbared - when you laugh til you cry you forget if you were crying already! If it wasn't for them and the vague possibility of conjugal visits with BFG my life would be completely meaningless.

Fear not gentle reader, my dismay is only anxiety caused by not having a jumper on the needles. Am half way through a beanie... but it's just not the same.

Told you i'm not good at posting pics near the event.

til we knit again

PS wore Rasberry Sorbet today (despite its unblocked status) and many complemented me. and i'm 90% sure that one of the complements wasn't masked disgust - that's good enough for me!

Monday, August 08, 2005


Hi all
Have new photo in my sweaty little palms and feel the need to prove i photograph much better with an empty bladder.

This is obviously last Thursday again (yet another reason why i need my own camera - am sick of posting things ages after the event). How's the chest hair!? (though his is fairly impressive also).

Oh, and if TOD happens to read this - sorry for the stand up! but meant i'd be home two hours later and really needed to finish Dostoyevski! sorry!


PS. Raspberry Sorbet is done but for a few woven ends and some blocking. (insert victory dance here). Cambio is not to be started for some time due to bead-location difficulties.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Much ado about knitting

Raspberry Sorbet sweater is squirming along, have completed back, front and one and a half sleeves. I'm a little worried that a turtleneck will not do - it's a slightly itchy yarn and i DO NOT wear skivvys...
I suppose i could do that funny split turtle neck thing, you know, like a collar over one shoulder? Sometimes they have buttons on them as well... but they sort of remind me of baby jumpers. and every one is wearing them at the moment, which puts me right off instantaniously. Uno grando problemo.

To be honest, I'd much rather start my next project, Cambio from It is soooooo yummy and i'm dreaming of beaded ribbing... i even have a pre-frogged cotton top the right colour and weight and everything! Am a little worried as to the possible cost of '2565[2835, 3105, 3375] size 6 silver core glass seed beads'. Also, did you know these things come in sizes?? have i been living under a size 7 rock?

Am very exited because am expecting soon in the mail pattern 4841 from Mcalls... the most truly delicious collar shape ever! i am hooked on the green one (version C) and just want to wear it tomorrow. Sadly (or more to the point, realistically) it wont arrive for at least another two weeks. But am still exited!

Gripe time:
Have noticed, of late, some very bad seaming. This comes from mature knitters, and many handknits i've picked up to frog wouldn't be so bad if someone would bother to learn mattress stitch. I've been knitting seriously for less than two years and my seams dont look like someone got at them with a hedge-trimmer! Why waste all the money and time and effort of knitting yourself a size 16 lace cotton jumper if you refuse to pick up a book and follow some simple instructions for professional finishing? Grrr!
(Happy spider re-learnt from Debbie Bliss, How to knit, best book ever if you want common sense and good instructions. i know one of the reviews is scalding, but this was written by a complete idiot! it doesnt matter what your hands do provided your stitches turn out all right. There is no right way to knit! Also, the projects might not be your thing, but this book is the best companion you could possibly have to any other knit pattern.)

Anyway, as you can probably all tell, i remembered about hyperlinking today (the BFG is going to laugh at me so hard, he thinks am complete techno-retard).
Sorry, no pics today, but i might let the cat out of the bag and tell you all that happy spiders Tax Return may be equivalent to a Digital Camera. E-e-e-excellent...

So, to quote the Bay City Rollers....

"Bye bye baby, baby bye bye!"

Friday, August 05, 2005

and they danced all night in ugly shoes

Riddle me this Batman: If a tree fell on a forester, would anyone care?

Went to the BFGs Uni dinner/dance thing last night, and my goodness those boys can throw it back! Not that my boy is a forester type (don't misunderstand!) but there were three or four at our table who acted as though breasts (specifically, my breasts) had only just been invented and should be examined closely for scientific purposes.
We had a young chap have his knee dislocated (due to forrester-type 'dancing'), a fellow throwing wine-glasses into the middle of the table one after another to watch them smash and somebody broke the toilet (no idea how they did this).
There were a few young girlies who had a leeetle too much to drink and insisted on the DJ playing that terrible 'Drop it like its hot' song. Trouble is, they could 'drop it' but were obviously struggling to pick it up again.
This is Happy Spider and the BFG looking terribly suave. Wish i could take credit for the dress, but its a vintage find from my work. Did knit the shrug though. You can't see, but am also wearing gold ballet slippers. Sound strange? i was the only girl not to twist her ankle by the end of the night.
Not just a pretty face, folks!

Additional: BFG wears his own suit, my daddy's pink 70's shirt and my brothers ganster hat. Our facial expressions are explained as follows : BFG's mother took photo (hence blurriness and overexposed), i had to pee and we were running 30 minutes late. (Come to think of it this may also explain mystery belly-bulge)

Til we knit again...

Monday, August 01, 2005


Ms Spider,
I must write as i am perturbed as to the point of your blog. Your photos are lovely, but what is one to do with them? Is this blatant rant-space or somewhere to tempt your friends to purchase knitted things?
Confused, ACT

Dear Confused,
Poor thing, i quite understand.
Firstly, this space is for me to have a mega-winge when things that are crap occur.
Secondly, i show photos in no particular order pertaining to nothing in particular.
Thirdly, i show off clothing that my friends are able to convince me to make for them (by emailing me at
feel free to contact me if you continue to be confused.
Happy Spider

Dear Happy

You seem to be forever referring to people in code, and i find it difficult to determine who you're banging on about. Please explain.

No Life, NSW

Wow! No Life, you really have no life at all! in case you seriously care here is a brief explanation. I will not use their real names so as to protect the guilty, but here is an approximate list.

the BFG - one's boyfriend. (Big Friendly Giant, Bad Furry Gherkin, Boy Friend Guy etc etc)

Queen of Wonderment - one's bestest friend ever

the evil one (or stink boy) - one's younger brother

baby bear - very patient and beautiful friend of one's brother who allows me to dress her up

TOD - my twin of destiny, soul mate of the mind.

Harry - my dog. no pseudonym, except 'the dog'.

Will make a point of explaining each new pseudonym as it arrives

Love, Happy.

'Dear' spider-breath, why do you crap on so much? what gives you the right to moan on and on about your knitting, or the fashion industry. maybe you're just a misshapen cow! did you consider that??

Why unamed stranger!

it turns out (and believe me, i'm as suprised as anyone) that i'm actually a magical type of Elfish creature and therefor impervious to mortal criticism. Nice try though!

Happy Spider

Anyone wishing to add to this circus, feel free to email all comments considered for posting. particularly entirely fictitious spider-created ones.

Peace out!