How to cut up a mango

This is for TSS who proclaimed last week that she couldn't be properly Australian until she had figured this one out.
Apologies to anyone with net speed issues.

1. Locate a mango. Wrinkly is ok, in fact is often means they are very sweet. There are several varieties and everyone works out their own preferences with time. Little black dots are usually fine... when they are more like ink-blots it's wise to just move along. This is often symptomatic of a mostly rancid mango and there is little salvageable when that happens.
2. Stand on it's tip and slice off each lobe. You know, the chubby cheek bits. Slice as close to the seed as you can without cutting into the seed.
3. Score the flesh in the lobes with a sharp knife. (left handed photography is poor) You know you've done it right when they flip out like echidnas. (depending on how ripe the mango is, you may end up with soggy or very firm looking cubes. It don't matter).
4. You can eat them right off the skin but if we are intending to eat the whole mango or put it in a fruit salad/icecream/smoothie/daiquiri then at this point i would scrape/slice the cubes off into a bowl and retain them. (like the bowl? it was TSS's)
5. Cut the stem end off the seed. (there is often a black patch towards the stem end, if anywhere, so you may want to cut more than this to remove any discoloured flesh).
6. Peel the skin off the seed part. (yeah, i can't take good pics with my left hand).
7. Slice any firm flesh off the seed.
8. Scrape any extra flesh and juice from the seed. You can get them almost white and pretty clean (again, dependent on ripe-ness of fruit. Don't assume you're hopeless if yours doesn't look like this).
9. Scrape any excess flesh/juice off the skins. Sometimes a dessert spoon works better than a knife, less likely to get chunks of skin in your finished product.
10. Serve (or do more interesting things to it).

Oh and wear dark colours or clothes you don't care about because mango stains like anything.

Peace out
Ms Spider xo

PS. I'm not suggesting this is the only way or the best way. This is just the way that I do it and I've never had any problems doing it this way.