List 1

hello lads and ladies!

snb on thursday was brilliant! a small group for a change but this isnt a bad thing, i think i actually got to talk to everyone for once :) and to make the evening even better othlon, irene and i went out for dinner first so we were full of knitterly love! we were sitting about cursing men and suddenly we are doing the 'when shall we three meet again' bit from macbeth.. ah so appropriate. three witches is right :p

sadly i am stupid and have run out of all AA batteries that are charged and so have no new pics for you! so instead, i am writing a list. if you are going to be offended by any of this please dont read it! im not your mummy, you can make an intelligent decision whether or not to be offended and if you choose to read it i dont need to hear if you think im a brat. thanks.

Things My Mother Does That Shit Me

1. asks questions and then doesnt listen to the reply.. and then asks you the same question 5 minutes later. (such as 'what are you doing tonight' 5 or so times)
2. finishes your sentences for you in a way that proves she wasnt listening. ( me - "so in richard III theres this really interesting bit that..." she - "has a femal aardvark in it?" or more frequently "oh is this pride and prejudice?").
3. puts beans in everything. green beans. i like them ok, i do not turn my nose up at vegetables but... fried rice, risotto, pastas, salads, stir fries... and SO MANY of them. seriously, if i see one more green bean im going to have to be restrained.
4. thinks i should still be wearing leggings in public. this is a war that has raged since i discovered mirrors at age 11 and im sorry but there are very few women who can/should wear these abominations in public. oh, and FLORAL ones! hello...!!??
5. has weird social behaviours. my friend pissed me off and i didnt want to meet her for lunch and mum says "oh just dont tell her and dont go." she is so scared of confrontation... and this makes me confront her ALL the time.
6. chews really loudly. I'M SERIOUS! she cant listen AND chew.
7. reads books like 'women who sort of stroll with the poodles' and the like and then tells me how to deal with people (if you read number 5 you will see why this annoys me so much)
8. stretches in weird places in the house
9. steals my thongs (for american readers, this is australian for flip-flops... its not THAT bad) and then leaves them in the garden.
10. leaves the house at the time she has to arrive at her chosen location (mostly frustrating when she's taking me somewhere)
11. carries a bag of shoes with her everyday to work. this woman has at least three bags each day and at least 5 pairs of shoes.
12. says things like "you know what you could knit me? a mohair blanket!"
13. listens to talk-back radio
14. steals my seat at the kitchen table after covering every other seat with her numerous bags (see 11)
15. is eyeing off my new cardigan...
16. borrows my clothes and takes them in
17. has a really annoying aversion to obesity. its sooo narrow inded, i cant watch tv with her anymore because she shudders and says 'ooooh yuckkkk!'. i mean, COME ON! as she is someone who is underweight and has to struggle to keep her weight above 40kg you'd expect some sympathy but no! this is pisses me off soooo much, you have no idea. makes me knit cranky. ugh. not every one is a skinny midget with visible ribs, mum!
18. cant say no to people at work and then comes home all cranky and takes it out on me.
19. lets my brother get away with murder. "i dont think its fair to ask him to do any chores as he's hardly ever home" but its ok for me to do twice as much as well as studying full time and working part time.... ?
20. relates everything i do back to her. if i have a fight with BFG she's all "oh i used to have terrible times with dad because i just couldnt be open". HELLO??? of all my problems with BFG, not speaking my mind is definitely not near the top of the list :p
21. she thought my garter belt was a bra. she gets offended that i have cute knickers, like im a pervert or something.
22. she purses her lips up when i swear (as in 'oh crap').. but only tells my brother off if he uses the other 'c' word.

there are many more and this will probably get added to... are you feeling a little tension? yeah well. i got up at 6.45am this morning (on my only day off of the week) to help her clean up australia in our local bushland park... and she's so nervous about other people, evern though she organised the thing she made very little effort to get people.. so it was like four of us. eck.

also, why do you think people would find it fun to a) get drunk in a park, b) get laid in a park and c) set fire to car parts in a park?

hopefully have some pics up tomorrow, ignore the winge :p

Ms Spider