knitting and the life I almost have around it

Thursday, July 16, 2009

some holiday..

1. Take one overwrought, overworked and emotionally exhausted teacher.
2. Add two weeks without school, sifted with 5-6 weights training sessions and 10-12 cardio sessions and a (boring) controlled diet.
3. Stir in wedding-stress concentrate (3 or 4 cups). Sprinkle residual school-stress to season.
4. Leave to sit overnight, or until the stress mixture has doubled in size.
5. Fold in appointments with a florist, a cake-maker, a bridal boutique, a dance instructor and a photographer (allow for the stress-mixture increasing in size as financial deposits are added).
6. Purchase and add sugared almonds and the makings of bomboniere.
7. After 5 days, add 125 hours of flu. Sift a light layer of I-can't-work-out-because-i'm-sick and cover with a damp cloth.
8. Fold and construct 85 clear plastic noodle boxes. Be sure to damage both sets of thumb and first finger tips so knitting will be painful.
9. Discover that your veil wont arrive for weeks so you cant get the practice hair-do done during the break. (Hysterical giggle optional)
10. Call dress shop to discover they have no idea why the dress hasn't appeared yet. Fold in the fear that teacher will have nothing to wear but wedding shoes and necklace on the day (try to calm teacher with the knowledge that the groom will be happy with this)
11. Get period a week early, and sprinkle a generous amount of depressing bloat to undermine all the hard work at the gym. Gain 500g and get told off by weight-consultant at gym (I know, right?). Add a stern reminder that 10 kilos need to go in 12 weeks (slight hyperventilation is normal)
12. Get an email from - 80 days to go!
13. Remind teacher that school starts again in 4 days.

Serves one, plus hors d'oevre sized portions for friends and family. Has a remarkably long shelf-life, and often increases in intensity of flavour and size over time.


  • At July 16, 2009 3:55 pm, Blogger TinkingBell said…

    Oh no - poor thing1

    (How is the whole idea of eloping starting to look?

    Get very well very soon!

  • At July 16, 2009 3:56 pm, Blogger missfee said…

    as someone who did this all really recently remember to breath. Ask for help lots. Get lots of cuddles.

    Good luck, remember that you are a teacher and a good planner it will all fall into place. If it by some horror doesn't you will sort it out. And on the day you will just be there enjoying it and all this will fade into the background.

    Good luck

  • At July 17, 2009 8:38 am, Blogger Bec said…

    Hope you're feeling better soon ;-) and that all the wedding related things sort themselves out smoothly!

  • At July 17, 2009 10:10 am, Blogger twitchy fingers said…

    Oh. Oh my. Keep breathing. And remember that the sign of a successful wedding day is that you end up married - nothing else really matters! P.S I've got a veil you can borrow for the hair trial if you want...

  • At July 17, 2009 11:55 am, Anonymous 2paw said…

    Ahh that sounds nightmare-y. I do agree with MissFee, harness your many teaching abilities to help you through this. You would not believe how skilled you are in organising and personal communication and management!! Hope you are feeling better now.

  • At July 17, 2009 5:32 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Breathing is good.

    Super-organisational teacher-admin skills are also gold when you have to have everything running on a dime.

    You'll be alright.

    Good luck!

  • At July 20, 2009 4:00 pm, Blogger With a Q said…

    I read recently that eloping couples are on the rise. No wonder, if they all have to go through this! Good luck

  • At July 20, 2009 11:07 pm, Blogger Jejune said…

    All I can offer is hugs and sympathy ... try to get some rest if at all possible, even just an hour here and there to NOT think about any of it.

  • At July 23, 2009 9:48 am, Blogger Nicole said…

    it sucks blah! helped a friend once with her wedding and swore i would never do it for myself. little sis is getting married and the biggest stress is going to the travel agent and paying them to organise the lot! yay for eloping to a tropical island for a week! (is it too late for you to do the same?)


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