2. Add two weeks without school, sifted with 5-6 weights training sessions and 10-12 cardio sessions and a (boring) controlled diet.
3. Stir in wedding-stress concentrate (3 or 4 cups). Sprinkle residual school-stress to season.
4. Leave to sit overnight, or until the stress mixture has doubled in size.
5. Fold in appointments with a florist, a cake-maker, a bridal boutique, a dance instructor and a photographer (allow for the stress-mixture increasing in size as financial deposits are added).
6. Purchase and add sugared almonds and the makings of bomboniere.
7. After 5 days, add 125 hours of flu. Sift a light layer of I-can't-work-out-because-i'm-sick and cover with a damp cloth.
8. Fold and construct 85 clear plastic noodle boxes. Be sure to damage both sets of thumb and first finger tips so knitting will be painful.
9. Discover that your veil wont arrive for weeks so you cant get the practice hair-do done during the break. (Hysterical giggle optional)
10. Call dress shop to discover they have no idea why the dress hasn't appeared yet. Fold in the fear that teacher will have nothing to wear but wedding shoes and necklace on the day (try to calm teacher with the knowledge that the groom will be happy with this)
11. Get period a week early, and sprinkle a generous amount of depressing bloat to undermine all the hard work at the gym. Gain 500g and get told off by weight-consultant at gym (I know, right?). Add a stern reminder that 10 kilos need to go in 12 weeks (slight hyperventilation is normal)
12. Get an email from easyweddings.com - 80 days to go!
13. Remind teacher that school starts again in 4 days.
Serves one, plus hors d'oevre sized portions for friends and family. Has a remarkably long shelf-life, and often increases in intensity of flavour and size over time.