knitting and the life I almost have around it

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

update on drama

Ok, so thanks for all the support after my last post. It's been really nice to be told that my frustration was justified. So, here's what I've done.

I called up and canceled my regular spot with K. I then asked if there was a spot with L later in the week. No problem.

On Wednesday I was 30 min early so i went and worked out on the cardio equipment before my appointment. I had a slight panic when K arrived 5 mins before my appointment (What if the girl on the desk misunderstood???) but L showed up in time.
I explained to her (gently) that i wanted to see her from now on, and gave her the reasons it wasnt working. I tried really hard to be nice about it, but i think it was pretty obvious how stressed it had made me.

And the best part? I've finally lost 10 kilos since February! I'm not yet at my goal weight, but considering how much of a change there's been to my body in terms of actually having muscle covering now.... I dont know if I'm all that concerned if i don't lose any more. I'm really happy with what I've achieved, and while it'd be nice to look like a fashion model, I also feel healthy for the first time in at least 15 years. I can actually do push-ups now!

And i went to the doctor today and my blood test came back... and it's good news! It's pretty clear that I do have Coeliac's because the change in my blood since September (and the point where i started to do the gluten-free thing) in clear. However, if i want a proper diagnosis i have to eat gluten for a month (!!!!) and then have a biopsy. So, i know what my body does if i accidentally eat a teaspoon of wheat and that's enough of a diagnosis for me :)

There was a slight wedding drama when i discovered that another bridesmaid had bought the wrong dress but she's eternally efficient and the situation was sorted within 24 hours. Basically it bodes well for the wedding: my girls arent going to let anything get in the way of a good day!

It's all feeling very close... 53 days! But things seem to be falling into place. I'm determined to stay positive!

Hope everyone else is well and happy :)

Ms Spider xo

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Sunday, August 02, 2009

take a deep breath now

So apparently now I have 62 days to go. Arg!

The dress has been delayed. Was supposed to be early June and now it won't be at the shop until September 2nd. Considering the wedding date is 3rd October, it's taking a concerted effort not to hyperventilate about this. Busiest time of year for weddings, 4 weeks to fit...
My veil also appears to be taking longer than suggested - why is white so hard to get a hold of? If I wanted cream I could have walked out of the boutique with a new one in a packet! Every wedding shop treats me like a freak of nature because white suits me better... I'm trying to take it as a sign that I'm special.
The jeweler ordered Monkey's ring in the wrong size - apparently Q and O are too hard to tell apart.

I finished weaving the bridesmaids stoles this week, which is a huge relief. it's not that they were at all difficult, it's just warping is a pain in the butt. Has anyone worked out a more efficient method than shoving loose bits of paper in as you wind up the warp? I also found these earrings at Diva, which i think are perfect for the bridesmaids. I love them so much that i bought myself a pair too.

On the weight-loss front, I'm doing really well. From February to May i lost about 4 kilos on my own, and then I joined Fernwood to give me a boost. Since I joined I've lost another 5, and i actually have muscle tone again. I feel like I'm getting my body back.
Through Fernwood I have had help through their Slimplicity program, but I have to say I'm ambivalent as to how helpful it's been. To start with, their daily food allowances gives you 1200 calories, and everywhere else I've looked suggests that this is way too low for my height and level of excercise. Dangerous even.
Also, I am doing a great deal of weights training, and the protein allowance for one day is 90g. This is less than a small tin of tuna.
So, basically, I've been ignoring it. I already ate quite well, but I've cut down on sugar and high-fat foods, and upped my already high intake of fruit and veg. I also read up on the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet, which makes HEAPS more sense. Plenty of protein, enough carbs for energy but not so much that it's awkward for me (who doesnt eat gluten and is out of the habit of eating any breads etc). lots of fruit and all the veges i can eat. perfect.
Problem is, I am between two consultants at the gym. One, I'll call her L, is lovely. late 30's, motherly, relaxed and positive. Every gram I lose is an achievement and she understands that i'm modifying the diet to suit my needs. The other lady, K (late 20's), is driving me nuts.
Now, before i go on too much, I need to explain my position. I gained weight because i was sick, for a long long time. The coeliac's affected my vitamin levels and i was physically sick all the time, just working 5 days sent me spiraling into exhaustion at night and weekends, migraine headaches, fatigue, nausea (on and off since age 7)... plus medication for depression etc over the last 10 years that all cause weight-gain. My weight-gain was not due to lack of self-control. I do not eat 20 donuts a day, i have never eaten at McDonalds... I enjoy excercise. I have good eating habits, despite my sweet tooth. I do indulge, but i'm not stupid about it.
Now L totally gets all this. She is awesome. Unfortunately, without any real warning, half the time i end up booked in with K. K clearly has one approach to motivating weight loss clients - fear. when i re-gained 500g due to bloat she gave me a telling off like no other, despite my telling her I was having a shocker period and had probably gained. When i lost a kilo in a week, she tells me (very sarcy) "see what you can achieve when you follow the program?". For starters, I am NOT following their sadistic program, and secondly she needs to back off before i smack her in the teeth.
I dont think I'm being unreasonable to expect her to modify her approach for me. After all, I'm paying for the priviledge. I've rebelled so far by refusing to keep a food diary any more (she doesnt trust me, despite 2 months of identical daily food lists). It's all very passive aggressive - i just dont bring it and tell her i forgot. I'm honest with her about what i eat, i tell her i had a couple of minties a few days ago ("We just have to make sure it isnt every snack, mm-kay?" Knowing look, ARGGG).
She also tells me my weight and measurements like a) she is giving me a gift that she made herself and b) she owns this knowledge about my body and i should be grateful that she chose to share. I know what I weigh. I know my measurements. I measure myself every week to make sure my knitting is going to fit. She wants me to thank her for all the hard work i have done.
Any suggestions about what I do about this would be appreciated. I dont want to be nasty, and i dont particularly want to complain to her manager, but i also dont want to keep paying for a weekly reprimand (whether i do well or not).

In knitting news, I joined the ravelry group NaKniSweMoDo (National Knit a Sweater a Month Dodecathon) earlier this year and am quite chuffed to announce I am up to number 11 :D
Number 1
Number 2
Number 3
Number 4
Number 5
Number 6
Number 7
Number 8Number 9
Number 10

Number 11 is Slinky Ribs by Wendy Bernard in Bendigo Harmony. More news on that one when i finish. More details for all projects here

ok, enough now. phew!

peace out,
Ms Spider xo

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