knitting and the life I almost have around it

Saturday, May 31, 2008

all the meme

apparrently i'm a little stressed.
I hadnt really noticed until the insomnia kicked in and now... it's Saturday and i had the house to myself for most of the day and i have no good reason to be anxious but i am. I sorted the stash. I groomed the bunnies. i finished the socks for Monkey's Mum. I posted excess stash on ravelry. I skeined yarn for dyeing some self-striping 8ply.
I think I might be going crazy (crazier?).
Maybe it's still the effects of healing from the op last week and I'm just expecting too much from myself. But I cant help falling into a head-space which says: I'm always sick with something, I can't take leave for everything and I cant work and be useful at home in the same day when I'm crook.. which feels like always. I spend my weekends trying to catch up on housework and marking and then suddenly it's sunday night and i still feel like i need a weekend. Add to that the guilt of being a total burden to Monkey (i seriously cant remember the last time i cooked dinner and he works as many hours as i do) and constantly piking on plans because I'm either feeling sick or feeling so tired I know i'd be a total buzz-kill... and I'm feeling pretty useless right now.

I have some issues at work at the moment too. The Knitting group i started is going great guns and the kids are mad keen on it. It's one lunchtime a week and they're nagging me to do it more often. We've seen some amazing results already; one girl with huge behavioural problems is sitting quietly and focusing on a crochet square for an entire lunch... this is a kid who has been known to climb out windows on second floor during classes. Another girl who has been really struggling to connect at school... her eyes just lit up! She's a natural, she had a scarf by the next meeting. It's just great, the kids get so much out of it it feels really important.
but apparently it's not important enough for the school to deem it worthy to cover the odd playground duty for me so i can run it regularly. not only wont they cover it, they make me chase people to swap duties with me.
I know it seems like a tiny thing but it's just so... typical. All we ever hear is "we really appreciate you donating your time/we need volunteers/we need your enthusiasm/we need you to take initiative and use your specialist skills to help the school and the students/helps to make things run smoothly/supervise concert, social, P&C night etc etc" and then the next thing is "oh you have an extra in your only line off today/have you done enough hours/we wont cover a duty for something you're choosing to do".


ok, maybe my stress does have a root. No bloody wonder there's such a high drop out rate for new teachers.

Now, because it's too dark to take proper pics of recent FOs, I'm going to do the meme that has been doing the rounds.

1) What was I doing ten years ago?
I was halfway through term two of year 8. I was madly in love with a boy called Sam and my favourite class was Art. My favourite song was Foolish Games by Jewel (before she went skanky) and I never missed an episode of Dawson's Creek (thought Dawson was a tool but wanted to kiss Pacey).

2) What are five (non-work) things on my to-do list for today?
Dye self-striping yarn for a commission BSJ. List yarn on Ravelry. Finish socks for Monkey's Mum. bi-annual stash toss. blog.

3) Snacks I enjoy?
salt and vinegar chips are my oldest friend. I also love minties and redskins (but not while my mouth is still hurty). Tsatsiki and corn chips. Sashimi with soy and a really fresh wasabi.

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
Hmm. Pay off house. extend house so Monkey has room as well as my stash and maybe space for kidliwinkles one day. Pay off car. Get hitched. Restock the school library with textbooks that arent growing fungi. Retire early and set up a yarn store/ book store / cafe with classes on spinning, knitting and specialist techniques and really good chairs. Fund research into alternate fuel sources. am i broke yet?

5) Places I have lived?
I lived in my parents' house in Qbn for 21 years, my bundah home for nearly 2. I realise I am very, very lucky to have moved only once.

6) Jobs I have had?
Sales assistant in Childrenswear department of Target. Sales assistant at Kookai. Volunteer at St Vinnies. Sales assistant at Hidden Treasures, little womens boutique in the Woden Hospital (HELL). Sales assistant at ReVamp in Qbn, selling antiques and collectables. Am now an English teacher at a Canberra High School.

7) Peeps I want to know more about?
Elizabeth Zimmerman, Jane Austen, Eleanor Farjeon, Ringo, Marilyn Monroe. If you want to be tagged and have get to do this then go forth, but I ain't tagging anyone.

Ms Spider

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Monday, May 26, 2008

nothing but the tooth

hello all! it's the third day and I'm feeling a little more human. My mouth isnt actively bleeding anymore and i'm allowed to eat food that is warm and requires chewing again. this is a Good Thing TM. Spider cannot live on custard alone!
i also have a new favourite painkiller - prodeine forte. it stops things hurting AND makes me sleep. this wins it many points because usually my trouble sleeping affects my recovery time. Now, for once, I'm sleeping right through the night and it's Monkey who's taking spells on the couch (maybe I snore when sedated? i should be more sympathetic but after 23 years of chronic insomnia I'm not that upset by someone having a few restless nights).

wow, pain maketh me meanish!
shake it out Spidey!

In my drug induced haze I have managed to complete some knitting... and how!
presenting the Bell Sleeved Jacket by Daniel Adamczyk. I used just over 13 balls of Cleckheaton Country 8ply and I chose not to knit the belt - I'm going to get a nice wide piece of satin ribbon to tie it with. I am really happy with it - it's just so pretty! It is very fitted and quite busy - it really needs to be the focus piece of an outfit so it's not an everytday thing. Was great fun to knit and didnt take me too long - just over a month i think?

I did also take a pic of the inside of my mouth - complete with tooth hole, stitches and injection sites but Taph informs me it is much too horrific so i'll keep it to myself.

I was actually completely terrified by the operation. it might have had something to do with fasting all day and being left alone in a room with no clock in a hospital gown for what felt like ages...
and i am apparently a complete geek. When i was recovering, the lovely anesthetist told me that when i went out i muttered 'The drugs are quick" and when i woke up they gave me my tooth in a jar and I said (to the tooth) "take that, you bastard!" and then passed out again.
I have no recollection of either of these events but they amused Monkey a good deal.

right now my biggest concern is that i have to stay home for two more days and i have no idea what to knit...

Peace out
Ms Spider

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

resolution is relief

So a few of you may remember my dramas last year with the tooth from hell? Well, my appointment to have it out wasnt til June and it's flared up again. So I've been a bit crippled, drinking tea on one side of my head and still getting the explosive pain that is an infected root.. ugh.

anyway, managed to (finally) see my dentist who freaked a little, showered me with scripts for antibiotics and got me an appointment with a different (and way more efficient) oral surgeon today... who managed to fit me in for Saturday! (i love efficient people... who just say "let me check now" not "here's 12 numbers to choose from, maybe call one?" because when I'm in pain I don't follow directions well)
I'm actually kind of.. excited. I know that sounds weird but the pain is excruciating and i want it to GO AWAY. I am having the tooth out because my mouth is crowded anyway and it's at the end of the line. I won't be allowed back to work til Thursday next week and Monkey gets a carers cert to look after me for 2 days. and i kind of need a mental health day anyway so I'm sure more than just my mouth can heal in that time :) so after the initial 2 or 3 days of feeling shitty I'm hoping I'll get some knitting time :)

In more interesting news, the market of yarn whoredom was on Sunday and our stall rocked! we had so many lovely people come and chat, old friends and new and we all had the bestest time. I totally want to do it again - Fibre day anyone?

I'm a little spaced out (tooth pain make me stoopid) so i cant think if i have any other interesting news or pics...

ooh! i bought a drum carder from Mandie! She is awesome and helpful and didnt tease me when i said i felt like i was propositioning her :D more about it when it arrives. But if you need help with Ashford or Louet you MUST contact her. Most helpful and idiot-proof (believe me!).

off to take my antibiotics (damn those biotics, who invited them anyway?)

Peace out
Ms Spider

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Monday, May 05, 2008

it's the final countdown

13 days til the Canberra SnB stall at the OBDM
I have one question: how am I supposed to part with all the dyeing I've been doing?

Also, I have become endlessly entertained with.. baby socks.Not pregnant, I promise. Just enchanted by a quick finish...

Peace out,
Ms Spider xo

PS. thanks for all the helpful comments re vertigo. I think it is Labyrinthitis but it's calmed down and I'm only having the odd spell now. and i can deal with that. plus i dont have time to see a doctor so it's a good thing. But yes, all the suggestions were much appreciated - dont you just love the internets?

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